Monthly Archive for January, 2013

Planning for adoption

   Talk with Friends and Family


Adoptive Parents:  Even though adoption is a very personal decision, your friends and family will want to be involved and informed as to your progress.  Make sure you talk with them about what to expect as you go through the adoption process.  The adoption home study and the matching process with a child can be long and involved.  Family members might not understand the different steps leading up to a child coming into your home.  The legal aspect of termination of parental rights and finalization of the adoption can be confusing.  Keep your family and friends involved so they can help support you in many ways.


Letting your friends and family know that you are planning adoption gets people talking.  There might be someone in their circle of friends and family that could be thinking about planning adoption for their child.  It is always good to keep the lines of communication open so that everyone knows that your family would like to adopt.


Birth Parents:  Support is very important if you are thinking about planning adoption for your child.  If you go through an adoption alone, grieving your loss becomes much more difficult.  If you have at least one person who you trust by your side, the difference is invaluable.  Adoption should not be a secret.  You are making a loving plan for your child and you need positive and supportive people around you that can help you through.

New beginnings in Adoption

So a New Year is upon us and it’s time for New Year’s Resolutions.  If your resolution is to adopt or you are a woman who finds herself in a situation where adoption might be an option, here are some suggestions to help you keep on your adoption path.  Number one of four.

1)                   Learn as much about adoption as you can


Adoptive Parents:  Read about adoption, and go to adoption orientations at adoption agencies in your community.  These steps are crucial in your journey.


If you were having a child naturally, you would be reading books about what to expect.  You would be surfing the internet and accumulating as much information as possible.  The same is true for adoption.  You are making your family in a different way, so be prepared.  A great suggestion for a website for adoption books online is  They have books about every aspect about adoption to help you make a good decision for your family as to what type of adoption is right for you.


Adoption orientations at licensed adoption agencies are also an important way to gather information.  Go to several of them, ask questions and see if the agency fits your needs.  You are going to be working for a long time with the staff there, so make sure that you feel supported, understood and at ease with the environment.


Birth Parents:  Gathering information about adoption is an important aspect of your decision making process.  There are many great adoption books and articles that specifically address how others have made the huge decision to place their child for adoption.  Knowing that others have walked this road can help you and inform you as to the different aspects of adoption that are out there.  Do you want to meet the adoptive parents?  Do you want an open adoption?  How open?  What will that look like?  How will you feel?  There are so many questions that you can learn the answers to by doing your research.


Calling adoption agencies and interviewing them about how they work with and support someone who is considering adoption is also part of the process.  Do you think that the person on the other end of the phone is going to meet your needs?  Will they be there for you as you go through this difficult time in your life?  Are they an ongoing resource for you?  You are in control of this aspect of your journey.  Choose wisely.